these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
