she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
