No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
