Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
worst night to have a conscience
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize