Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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