i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
