We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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