He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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