I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Randomize
