we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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