can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize