And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
