Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Randomize
