Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
nutella sex= disaster
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize