his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I FOUND THE LEGS
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
