Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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