just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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