Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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