If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
