i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
