if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Randomize
