In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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