and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
