Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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