Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
