so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
