First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Randomize
