He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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