My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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