Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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