The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize