Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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