im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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