Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Randomize
