You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
