the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Randomize
