yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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