Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Randomize
