The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
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