i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
