Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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