the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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