If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
