Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
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