I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
