He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
We got so high we made milksteak
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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