think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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