It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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