i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
foreskin is a definite game changer
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Randomize
