i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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