3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
