worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
