I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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