well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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