Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Randomize
