oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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