so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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