mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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