HIV tests are more positive than that guy
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
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