U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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