i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Operation Purity has been aborted
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Randomize
