everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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