Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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