video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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