I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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