Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
