you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Drake has all the answers
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
