And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
