hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
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