i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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